In this blog, we will get into the basics, from safe sex to basic positions. This is meant to help everyone, if you are a virgin looking for advice, or an experienced lover who needs a bit of help on a new adventure and/or with a new person. Either way, we hope this little blog will help you out. As always, feel free to let us know in the comments if we missed answering any questions you feel could help you better understand the basics
With that quote in mind, we want to stress the fact that consent in everything sexual in nature is 100% needed and must be verbally. We say this because we cannot go with old ways of “oh well, I wanted it and thought he\she did too”. That’s just not the way to get it done. But take it from us, nothing is as sexy as a partner that cares about what we want and wants to make sure we are having as much fun as they are. Asking for consent is as easy as asking how your partner wants to be kissed and touched. Ask if your partner is enjoying the way you are touching them.Tell them what you would be interested in doing and ask if they would be interested in that type of play. This is especially true for bondage where pain and pleasure are mixed. Make sure that you know each others soft and hard limits, as well as fully discussing and remembering any hand signals or safe words to stop the action when its too much for either of you. Be sure to stop when the safe word or hand gesture is called out. Just because it is fun for you, doesn’t mean it isn’t fun for others or that something has suddenly changed and is causing pain. Remember everyone, consent is step one in safe, amazing sex!!
Now that you’re both a little hot and bothered, it’s time to move to the basics of Safe Sex!! No matter what orientation you and your partner are, there are always ways to have safe sex. With same sex couples and opposite sex couples, just have a basic talk with your partner to make sure you both are clean and know about any latex allergies. This will help you both be on the same page, if the need arises. If you or your partner do have any sort of STD’s or STI’s, there are several things to use to help stay safe, like condoms or dental dams. If you are allergic to latex, there are different natural forms of protective barriers as well, like sheep skin or other synthetics they have developed for everyone. So let’s start talking about your options.
Condoms – Now with condoms, we are going to touch on usage and how to’s because as we have said earlier we want this info to help everyone from the virgins to the well experienced. First, make sure to use the right kind of condom. Flavored condoms are great for oral sex. If you or your partner have any latex allergies, be sure to use a natural type of condom. A little tip for those that use condoms (even though most condoms are already lubed) to make sure you are feeling the most comfort and sensation, we recommend using a little bit of lubricant on the shaft before you put on the condom and a small amount outside once its on. This helps reduce excessive friction and helps decrease the feeling of desensitization a lot of men feel when wearing these.
When putting on a condom, it is always best to pinch the top (the reservoir) and slide the rest over the head of the penis. Roll the condom down the shaft and make sure it is sitting comfortably. Pinching the tip will help keep an airtight seal on the wearer. This helps make sure it is not going to rip from air being trapped in places or slide off when being used. To dispose with the condom once you are done, most pages we have researched recommend that you make sure you have a hold of it at the base of the shaft as you pull out. This makes sure it does not slip off as you may be getting soft. Then, once both you and condom are out, slide it down the shaft still holding the ring of it and tie it off, so no spillage happens. Please make sure no matter how you dispose of it, you don’t toss it in the toilet because that can cause some serious plumbing issues.
Dental dams– So now I’m sure you are wondering about some of the other things we mentioned for safe sex. Dental dams are great for anyone planning on performing oral on a vagina or ass, but worried about the risks of mouth to genital contact. These help protect against fluids that can transmit certain ailments. These are also amazing if you would like to try oral-to-anal play but may be a little uncomfortable with the whole licking-an-asshole thing. This will make it cleaner. Now, these are literally a large sheet of latex, so please look into alternatives if there is an allergy. Some of alternatives will sound weird, like seran wrap, but it is still a safe alternative when used correctly.
Female Condoms– This one is a bit uncommon. If you are a lady that doesn’t like things inserted inside of you like tampons or the like, then this may not be your cup of tea. This acts just like a normal condom, but the woman puts it on/in and can wear it for hours. The other difference is the look while its still a long tube looking thing it still has differences like where it fits on the opening of the vagina. The piece that sits outside looks like a clear gasket that sits just at the opening usually making the clit a hidden object. These condoms are probably the least used from what I have gathered from research, mostly because it’s weird to insert and a lot of women say it can be uncomfortable. But still a safe alternative we can wear to make sure no matter what goes on that night, she still has protection for what she wants.
Spermicide lubes– Spermicide is a great alternative for couples not wanting to get pregnant or for those who may dislike condoms (or just want to be extra protected in case the condom breaks). THIS DOES NOT PROTECT AGAINST STI AND STDS!!! We cannot stress this enough, it is only for not getting pregnant. How it works is as you have sex the lubes works its way farther into the vaginal canal (as most lubes do) and it has a chemical that stops those lil swimmers in their tracks. Still, using this form is not 100% to not have a pregnancy most places recommend using it with condoms, hormonal birth control, or with the morning after/plan b pills just to make sure.
So lovers however you decide to be safe, now at least you have a little bit of knowledge to go with it. So let’s dive into the first subject, foreplay!
So the first thing we want to touch on is foreplay! This is a big deal, not just for women but for men as well. No matter what type of relationship you are in, everyone benefits from foreplay. It makes the fun last longer, helps to set the mood, and get things ramped up. They can help the mood increase and help everyone get ready for the actual act. No matter which direction you take foreplay, always remember that you should take things slow. Most of the time slowness is key to get all the proper juices flowing, and it can increase pleasure for both parties.
Let’s talk about a few different ways you can get hot and bothered with foreplay. Foreplay can be anything from just making out to oral to fingering. Of course, the basic of kissing and heavy petting are always fun. But we want to give you some other fun out-of-the-box ideas to amp up what you already do. Why not try some sensory play? This one is simple. You only need a blindfold (a scarf can do in a pinch), a feather duster (fingers will do if the touch is light), some ice or anything that will cause sensation when brushed on the skin. The fun in the sensory play is that you can take turns torturing each other or you can both be blindfolded and just blindly follow the curves of each other’s bodies. Trust us when we say this is a very erotic amazing lil bit of foreplay that we highly recommend.
Another one, we sell a lot of in our store are some simple games like strip dice or any game that takes you slightly out of your comfort zone and into some sexy fun. These are also great ways to get past that giggly first time jitters. Do something that will make you both laugh and gasp in pleasure at the same time. These games are also great to spice up (or add some new play like bondage) to your sex lives.
Okay lovers, this was the start to our basics keep an eye out for even more info in the next parts of basics!! If we didn’t cover what you were itching to know please leave a comment below and we will address it next time!!